I collected questions that I get asked a lot about how to overcome fear and anxiety while riding, and I think a lot of you will resonate with it.

I hope that will give you an idea about how I see fear/anxiety a bit differently and the way I suggest to deal with it from a different perspective.

I’d like to start with Emma. She’s been riding for years, mainly Dressage, taken countless lessons, and even invested in clinics with top trainers. 

On paper, she’s doing everything right. 

But she told me, ‘Abby, I feel like I should be better by now. I’m still scared every time I canter. My stomach knots, my legs shake, and I keep thinking… what’s wrong with me? 

Here’s the thing… riding lessons teach you skills — how to use your aids, how to balance, how to communicate with your horse. But fear doesn’t live in your riding skills. 

Fear lives in your nervous system. And your nervous system doesn’t care how many lessons you’ve had — it cares whether you feel safe at this exact moment.”

If you’ve had past falls, close calls, or even moments where you felt out of control, your body remembers. It’s like a protective alarm system that says, ‘We’ve been here before… I’m not taking any chances.

This is biology, not weakness. When your body senses a threat — real or perceived — it flips into fight, flight, or freeze. Your heart races, your muscles tense, your breathing gets shallow. It’s your survival wiring kicking in.”

“The tricky part? Your body can’t always tell the difference between a real danger and a situation that reminds it of past danger. So even when you’re in a perfectly safe lesson, your nervous system can still light up like an alarm.

A lot of riders think the answer is to just push through. This is a mistake because, forcing yourself through fear without addressing what’s happening in your nervous system can actually make it worse. Your body learns to associate riding with stress, and that association gets stronger over time.”

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“Instead of asking, ‘Why am I still scared?’ try asking, ‘What does my body need to feel safe right now?’ This shifts the conversation from shame to curiosity, from frustration to compassion. You’re not weak — your body is doing exactly what it’s designed to do: protect you.”

Another question I get:

I’ve tried pushing through, but it never works. Why?

Because pushing through often reinforces the fear. It tells your nervous system, “We’re in danger, but we have to do it anyway,” which can deepen the anxiety over time. What works instead is teaching your body that it’s safe, in small, manageable steps—so your brain and body start to believe it, not just hope for it.

What should I be doing now to shift this fear?

Begin by noticing and normalising your body’s signals instead of fighting them. For example, if your heart races when you get on, pause. Take a breath. Soften your shoulders. Give your body a moment to find a sense of safety before asking it to move forward. Over time, these small moments of regulation build trust within yourself—and with your horse.

Why do I feel so anxious when I ride, even if nothing bad is happening?

Because your nervous system doesn’t need something “bad” to be happening in the moment to trigger fear. It works on patterns, not just the present reality. If your body has learned—through past experiences, falls, close calls, or even repeated pressure—that riding can be unsafe, it can stay in a heightened alert state, even when everything around you is calm.

Think of it like your body having a “smoke alarm” that’s extra sensitive—it can go off just from burnt toast, not just from a real fire. Your job isn’t to rip out the alarm; it’s to gently re-train it so it only goes off when there’s actual danger. That’s what nervous system regulation does—it teaches your body the difference between a real threat and a remembered one.

Is there something wrong with me if I can’t “just get over it”?

Absolutely not. Struggling to “just get over” fear isn’t a sign of weakness or a flaw—it’s a sign your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you. When we’ve had a fall, a scary moment, or even years of subtle pressure and stress around riding, our body stores that memory as a potential threat.

“Just getting over it” isn’t realistic, because it’s not about logic—it’s about biology. You can tell yourself, I’m safe, but your body might still be bracing for danger. That’s why healing isn’t about forcing yourself to push through; it’s about working with your body to feel safe again. Once your nervous system trusts that you really are okay, your confidence can return naturally—and stay there.

I made a video about Can You Think Your Way Out of Fear?
Click here to watch it on my YouTube channel

How do I stop my heart from racing and my body from tensing up?

The first step is not to fight it—because the more we try to “make it stop,” the more our body feels like there’s danger. Instead, think of it as helping your nervous system shift gears.

When your heart races and your muscles tighten, it’s your body moving into a fight-or-flight state. To interrupt that, you need to send it signals of safety. One simple way is to slow down your breathing—not big, forced breaths, but gentle, steady exhales that are slightly longer than your inhales. You can also release tension by moving—rolling your shoulders, wiggling your fingers, or even humming softly.

These small, physical actions tell your body, We’re safe right now. Over time, practicing them regularly—even off the horse—can train your system to stay calmer when you ride.

I’ve created a pre-ride checklist that will help you feel safe in your body, without pressure, you can download for free. I’ll leave the link in the comments. 

What can I do in the moment to calm down so I can actually ride well?

Think of this as creating a “reset button” for your body. When you’re in the saddle and anxiety spikes, your brain is already a few steps ahead, imagining what might go wrong. The goal is to bring yourself back to right now.

One way to do that is to ground through your senses:

• Look: Find three things in your environment and really notice the details—shapes, colors, textures.
  
• Listen: Tune into the quiet sounds around you—your horse breathing, birds, wind.
  
• Feel: Notice the movement of your horse under you, the reins in your hands, your feet in the stirrups.
  

This shifts your focus from “what if” thinking to what is, which naturally calms the nervous system. It’s not about ignoring fear—it’s about giving your body enough safety cues so you can ride from a place of presence, not panic.

How can I rebuild my confidence after a fall or bad experience?

Rebuilding confidence after a fall or frightening moment isn’t about “just getting back on.” That’s often where riders get stuck, because the nervous system remembers the event as a threat—even if logically you know you’re safe now.

The first step is to retrain your body’s safety signals. That means gently reintroducing situations that feel safe and manageable, allowing your nervous system to reset and trust the process again. Pair that with mindset work, understanding what your fear is trying to tell you, and building small, repeatable wins—so your confidence grows in a way that sticks.

This is exactly what I help female equestrians with in my trauma-informed confidence coaching. We combine nervous system education, somatic techniques, and practical riding strategies to help you feel safe in the saddle again—without forcing yourself or skipping over what your body needs.

Is there a way to stop the fear from coming back?

Fear isn’t something we can completely erase—it’s part of being human, and it’s actually designed to keep us safe. The problem is when your nervous system starts overreacting to situations that aren’t truly dangerous, like a routine ride or a small spook.

The way to stop fear from taking over again is to train your nervous system to recover quickly. That means you might still feel a little anxious from time to time, but you’ll know exactly how to regulate your body, shift your mindset, and come back to a calm, grounded state before the fear spirals.

This is why nervous system education and somatic work are so powerful—you’re not just “managing” fear, you’re retraining your body’s entire safety response. When we work together, I help you create a personalised set of tools so that even if fear pops up again, it doesn’t control your ride or your confidence.You have access to different strategies and tools to help you through it. 

If you’d like to have those tools in your pocket, you can book a free 30-minute strategy call with me, and we’ll talk about how to get you riding with confidence again and we can map out your next step toward feeling like yourself again in the saddle.